Week 35 - Thoughts; Noticing the Judging Mind

THOUGHTS 

Meditation can help us see our thoughts as passing mental

events rather like weather fronts. When we meditate, 

we begin to notice our thoughts coming and going. 

We can begin to see how they are influenced by our state of mind 

and how they can in turn maintain and feed 

a particular state of mind. 

When we feel down or stressed we are more likely to interpret things negatively. That negativity can make us feel vulnerable and anxious, keeping us in a state of hyper-vigilance and maintaining the body's state of alert, which in turn prompts the continued release of the stress hormone cortisol, which can keep us stuck in this cycle (see page 92).

Anxiety is created by fear of something happening, and that "something" is caused by the story we tell ourselves. If we can see it simply as a story rather than as fact, such thoughts lose their emotional charge. Notice your habitual thought patterns and, without judging them, which you are particularly prone to. Acknowledge them, notice how you can easily get hooked into them, and, most importantly, be curious about how they manifest themselves in the body. Common unhelpful thought patterns include:

CATASTROPHISING

Making things out to be worse than they are.

It can be helpful to notice the type of language we are using to describe our experience and modify it since catastrophising thoughts and words cause anxiety to escalate.

OVER-GENERALISING

Turning one example of an experience into something that “always” happens to you.

It can be helpful to remind ourselves to employ "beginner's mind" (see page 21) and be open to the possibilities arising in each moment.

MIND-READING

Assuming we know what another person is thinking.

It can be helpful to challenge our assumption and remind ourselves to stick with what we know to be fact.

BLACK-AND-WHITE THINKING

Being overly Judgemental and believing things are either right or wrong, or good or bad. 

It is easy to ignore all the shades of gray that can make up our experiences. This type of all-or-nothing thinking is common in perfectionists, who believe that anything less than the best is a failure. Meditating regularly gives a wider perspective.

CRYSTAL-BALL GAZING

Believing we know what will happen in the future (and often assuming the worst).

We can remind ourselves that the future is determined by what happens in the present moment, and that that is the only moment in which we have the power to do something different.

FOCUSING ON THE NEGATIVE

When we are feeling down we are more likely to focus on anything negative that supports the way we are feeling. 

We will even ignore evidence contrary to the story that we are telling ourselves.

Week 35 Activity 

NOTICING THE JUDGING MIND 

We are all constantly judging ourselves and others to see where we fit within our particular "tribe." 

Sometimes our tribe may be our nationality, sometimes it's our neighbourhood or group of friends, or maybe just our family. We can be part of a multitude of different groups at any one time. We are also always judging our experience—as good, bad, or neutral—and how we respond to the experience is often determined by that moment of interpretation.

This week, pay attention to the judging mind. Notice that moment when you pass someone in the street and a judgement pops up in your mind. There is no need to judge the Judging, simply acknowledge it and notice any associated thoughts or emotions.

If the judging mind is active when you are with somebody, take it as a helpful warning that your opinions may be biased.

When we judge someone, we lock on to a particular way of interpreting them or their behaviour. The judgement may be based on information that is out of date or perhaps not even true, but simply something we have read or heard about at second hand. The danger is that we close down and become blind to the myriad possibilities that might arise if we could remain open and curious.

To begin with, simply pay attention, and acknowledge when the judging mind is present. Then as you become more used to doing this, you can start to bring your attention to the judging. Notice what you are experiencing in the body, and any emotions, and breathe into them. Be curious about the judging and the judged.